I heard we made out
she looked like the before picture.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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