i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
