You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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