perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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