my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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