dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
