Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
