u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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