You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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