She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
