He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
