You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
