If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
