This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
