Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
do nipples grow back?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
