when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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