my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
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Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just want to make out with him forever
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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