I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
