Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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