theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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