i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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