i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
