watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
