she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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