all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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