I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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