By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
