I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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