Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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