i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
me + whiskey = a bad person
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize