I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
