Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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