There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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