so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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