i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
