You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize