Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
