having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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