Just fell off a train. Bad.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You pole danced in your parka.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
