Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
