you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
