he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
