i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
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First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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