its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
This couple is walking their pig around campus
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
