Don't you send me to vm
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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