Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
