Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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