everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
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