im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
