If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
