Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
