Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
