so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
