Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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