11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
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