I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
