So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
