Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize