Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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