I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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