I'm going to jail i love you
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
