That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
my shit smells like andre
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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