Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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