Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
